


Static Equilibrium

by rocketgirl2



Category: Firefly
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-07
Updated: 2010-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketgirl2/pseuds/rocketgirl2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serenity drifts on and her occupants drift on with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Static Equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colls/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, [](http://colls.livejournal.com/profile)[**colls**](http://colls.livejournal.com/)! I hope this is happy and un-angsty enough for you. Fluff isn't my usual genre, but I did my best for ya. Thanks to [](http://alcetis.livejournal.com/profile)[**alcetis**](http://alcetis.livejournal.com/) for being a wonderful beta!

At first, it had seemed a complicated, fast sort if life to Simon, but now that he's adjusted to the occasional criminal act, he realizes there's really lots of time spent on nothing in particular. Especially now that River's able to control herself better, he can't even waste his time messing with medicines, trying to cure her. So he spends his time getting to know the crew better, until Serenity is home to him and he can hardly imagine living somewhere else.

There's not much call for Simon to talk about who he used to be, but he does it anyways: tells stories of the old days because Mal still won't open up on his past; makes fun of who he used to be because he's come so far even from the nervous core doctor who first boarded Serenity with dreams of starting another life. They all laugh at who he was back then, and sometimes at who they were, as well. Simon thinks they don't have much reason for that, as none of them have changed much. But they claim they have: "You know, I used to hate you," Mal informs him with a chuckle. Simon smiles modestly and wonders if he's misinterpreting the look in the Captain's eye.

The one most like him on the boat is Inara—of everyone on the crew, she is the one that understands the life he used to live and how different this is for him. Given the circumstances, they can hardly help becoming friends, but they still have certain boundaries. Therefore, it surprises him when she seeks him out one night, after everyone else has gone to bed and he's doing an inventory.  
"You were watching him earlier, wondering," she says by way of announcing herself, startling Simon.  
He doesn't need to ask who she's talking about, nor does he need to admit that it's true.  
"You should talk to him sometime about it," says Inara, "You'd be happy together."  
"Talk to him. Right," says Simon in a voice that says _that_ won't be happening anytime soon, and Inara laughs softly and comes to sit on the counter next to him.  
"Maybe not talk, then," she agrees, "but do something. He won't—ever. Just dance around you if you let him, too afraid to take..." her voice trails off.  
"It's a dance the two of us did many times," she adds softly, almost regretfully.

Simon leans forward. "Then I—shouldn't—"  
Inara shakes her head. "No. Whatever Mal and I might have had is over now."  
She rises and walks out of the room, and Simon can't decide whether or not her advice is as good as it sounds.

The more he watches, the more he notices: the way Mal is always close to him, but careful to never touch him; the way he listens to Simon, as if there's something interesting being said; the way he drops his Captain-y facade whenever Simon's feeling particularly vulnerable. He'd almost think that he was imagining it but for the fact that Kaylee keeps shooting the two of them increasingly desperate looks, as if to say, "Will the two of you get it over with already before you forget what you were after in the first place."  
Inara doesn't make any more pilgrimages to his room, but is always there in the background with an encouraging smile.

In the end, Simon grows tired of it—it takes a lot of energy to act as if he doesn't care anything special for Mal—and tries to tell the captain how he feels.

This is one of the occasions in which words fail Simon, but he's able to make his point well enough before he gets to kissing the captain, which he figures will clear up any doubts that might be left. He's glad to discover that Inara was right, and that Mal was simply waiting for him to make the first move—because the Captain's quite responsive under his touch. It's rather messy and awkward their first time, and Simon gets some notion that they might be doing this all in the wrong order, but he doesn't figure it's his place to complain about anything so good.

The next morning at the breakfast table Kaylee's glowing more that the two of them combined, and it gets so bad that Simon has to leave the table for embarrassment—because nobody's mentioned it, but he's sure they all know it because Jayne gives him a disgusted look as he sits down and spends the majority of the time Simon is at the table making remarks that are not quite nasty enough to justify Mal's sending him away. And Simon isn't overly bothered, really, just a bit dazed and confused and wondering what his father would say if he was sitting at the table, too. But Mal comes by later to make sure he's okay, and the two of them do get to talking, a bit, and Simon figures things will get easier as they go on, so he lets them go.

The awkwardness does abate, slightly, but Kaylee still tends to get the giggles around them, which sets Simon to smiling, which makes Jayne storm off and Simon thinks it's almost as if Kaylee was the one here just fallen in love.  
But he doesn't complain, and eventually the giggles fade; the tension between him and Jayne is restored to normal levels, and he begins to settle in to the new dynamic he and Mal have built.

Simon tries to not think about forever, because he knows that Mal doesn't think that way—but all the same, this is where he'd like to spend it, with the ship and the stars and his family—because that's what they are, and he loves them all in one way or another.  
It surprises him when Mal asks him about the future one day—surprises him so much that he can only manage to stutter out something about staying on Serenity—and then they end up having sex, and afterward, Simon forgets to ask Mal about his future.  
He's too scared to bring the subject up again, because Mal isn't one to talk about what was or what will be, so he just waits, because the future always arrives in due time.

Eventually, even Jayne accepts it—Kaylee congratulates him on overcoming his jealousy—and that's the day that Simon feels as if Mal's truly his. Because he was the last to join the crew, and he appreciates that everyone else owns Mal in their own ways—so when Jayne's willing to share, he figures it must mean something for him.  
It's also the day that Mal is really with him on the ship—not that he's into PDA, but he's not afraid to be near Simon, sit close enough that their shoulders just touch; let their fingers brush, and Simon feels like a hopeless romantic for the first time in his life. The feeling only intensifies when Mal leans over one night, whispers something nondistinct in his ear and Simon replies "I love you," because he knows that's what Mal is trying to say. He never thought he'd find himself in a situation in which he could actually admit it, and the words bring to him a sense of finality, because he knows he's found the future that he was waiting for.

The future has a habit of becoming the past far too quickly, but for Simon, it seems to hang above him: either that, or it passes by unnoticed, same as the present. He doesn't concern himself too much with time anymore, because he and Mal move along, day by week by month by year, and there's nothing to say that they'll ever change.

**Author's Note:**

> Concrit is always appreciated!


End file.
